Things have changed for me over the past few days and I want to share with my online community of friends the reason why I won't be around as I have in the past.
On Friday morning I woke up with an eight year memory loss. It was very disorienting and quite frightening for me. Those around me though were calm, they knew what to do because they have been through this before.
I have been told, but do not currently remember....
In 2004 I had my first case of amnesia and after days of tests and a ton of anxiety I was diagnosed with Transient Global Amnesia (TGA). Then in 2007 I had another loss, but I also gained back all of my memories later that year. So the connections in my brain are not permanently severed and there is hope that I will once again remember the last eight years. But there are no guarentees.
Physically and medically I will be fine. But emotionally it will be a challenge to adjust to all that has changed in the last eight years.
You can't really put something like this into words. How do you describe how it feels to look at someone you know, yet they are suddenly eight years older. This is especially hard with my daughter, she has gone from 5 to 13 in an instant for me. I still can't quite wrap my head around that one. Or the situation where I have amazing people in my life that I no longer remember. I can see pictures, I can read words, but I can't make the connections to the emotions and memories of them.
I have had moments of complete frustration, where I just don't know how I can get through the day. But I have been told that these moments will pass and I will create a new normal and continue to move forward. Oh, how I pray that will come quickly.
Everyday I am working to learn what I don't know, making a bridge from my time to the current time. It is exhausting, but I am making progress. The technology that has happened in the last eight years alone is going to take me a bit of time to catch up with. So many online communities, so much information, way too many logins. That is the reason that I wanted to post this now. I don't expect to be active in the communities that I have in the past. Right now I am focused on daily life so Facebook, Twitter, and blogging are going to have to wait.
I thank each of you for your friendship and I hope that I will be able to reconnect with you in the future.
Recent Comments